Sign up

Wanna get 2 free yoga practices, special offers + insider news?

Zen Peacekeeper.

Change-Maker.

Story-Teller.

Yoga-Guide.

Action-Amplifier.

Courage-Cultivator.

Story-Teller.

Goodbyes II

Thursday, April 12, 2007 by Marianne Elliott

Follow me on App.net

In_arch_at_fortress

Reflective Frida at the Fortress in Herat, taken on 7 April 2007 by S. de Matteo

A couple of months ago I wrote here about goodbyes. It was a post that probably said more about my life, the choices I've made, the risks I've taken, the sacrifices I've made and the lessons I've learned, than anything else I've written here.  It was possibly the hardest thing I've written for a long time, and yet it was liberating and affirming at the same time.

Today I'm sitting in Dubai International Airport, once again contemplating the goodbyes that come as part of the deal with the particular lifestyle I've chosen and the goodbyes that come whether we like it or not as part of life in general.

Today I'm facing the possibility of a very particular kind of goodbye, the kind that you are not ready for, the kind that tears right into the very deepest, softest part of your heart and takes away something that you treasure, something which you had started to believe might be there for good. As I contemplate this possibility I realise that even if I am given a reprieve in this instance there will come a day when I will have to say goodbye to the people I love the most dearly.

Is there really no escape from this impermanence?

Subscribe

Get my latest articles delivered to your inbox (+ get 2 free yoga practices)

12 Responses to "Goodbyes II"

  1. AnnieElf says:

    Dear Frida, I wish I knew what to say. Without you saying anything specific I somehow can still imagine that this good-bye might be in the face of possible “orders” to work elsewhere, a transfer if you will. We have all here become so familiar with the world of Afghanistan as seen through your eyes. It has even moved some of us to do a small thing that might result in a great help. Wherever you end up, there will be legions to follow you and learn about other places and other needs that are so much more real and personal than can be found on any newscast. I’m praying for you and for your personal happiness. All my best, Annie

  2. ceanandjen says:

    Frida~ you definitely sound sad and torn, and for this I am truly sorry. I hope that the decisions that appear to yet unmade are done so quickly and smoothly. In the meantime, I am sending you good peaceful wishes.
    xoxoxo

  3. Paris Parfait says:

    Dearest Frida, in answer to your question, no, I don’t think so. Life is fragile and fleeting and nothing is guaranteed or permanent, no matter how much we might wish it so. Whatever you are going through, you are strong. And I am sorry for the pain or worry you’re now enduring, but I know you will be fine, whatever happens. Just remember, you are strong. And I really believe we are never given a cross stronger than we can bear. Wishing you strength and perhaps a bit of serenity for good measure, dear heart. xo

  4. [a} says:

    awww Frida!!!! goodbyes suck & they never end! you’re so strong, and so committed! no matter what you choose to do, you will always be inspiring to me. hope the pain doesn’t last. & plz buy chocolates. maybe that could dull it a bit.. i believe anything in this world & this life isn’t solid & permanent, except our deeds. i think they stay with us even when we die… my philosophy.
    btw, do you know that because of reading this blog, i’ve had the courage to leap into scary {but “right”} stuff. i also have a goal that’s vague & hasn’t fully shaped itself yet, but it’s one i might not have had if it weren’t for knowing you through this blog.

  5. tiny noises says:

    to quote and old indigo girls song: “my words are paper tigers, no match for the predator of pain inside you”
    but don’t ever stop sharing who you are. with us out here in blog land or the world or those you may have to say goodbye to. thinking of you and your running and your strength and your weakness. and holding your sadness from across the ocean. -mj

  6. ainelivia says:

    Frida, you sound so sad, I’ve only just found your blog but this I feel in my heart: “For this I bless you most: you give much and know not that you give at all”. – Kahlil Gibran
    thinking of you, and wishing you peace al

  7. Oh, honey… what can I say? I know about good-byes now- the ones that really tear at your heart…
    The only thing I can say about good-bye’s is that we all go through them and in that, we can all share with each other how that feels.
    Peace and love, dear friend…
    xoxo

  8. pumuckl says:

    someone told me once that indeed life always presents us with the challenge that we are up to. we can do it. and regarding the pain… it sucks. I know it. most of us know it – at least the ones brave enought to face it and grow instead of hiding and walking away. time is the only help. it is good for something. it is. and if bloody fucking hurts and it does not stop hurting even when you fully know that you are strong enough and that you do get over it. what to do. “with a little help from my friends”….
    hugs – and thank you for your thoughts during the last two weeks and your lovely comments on my blog. it is so much appreciated.
    all the best to you

  9. Alex says:

    Everything is always changing… But why is it that it seems so easy to grasp that on an intellectual level, and then in reality, we still always fall back emotionally, seeking security and believing that someday we’ll find it? All I can say is that we all live with impermanence… There is not one person out there in the world that can keep it all together… I guess we just need to relax in the truth that this is the nature of our existence. We are all gypsies passing through and sharing moments! x

  10. Margaret says:

    All I can say is that I know the feeling. I can relate and it totally stinks.
    With you in spirit,
    Margaret

  11. homeinkabul says:

    Ah, I’ve missed all this – I’ve been out of town and w/o regular internet access. I’m sending you my love and hopes that you are being kind to yourself.

  12. Leslie says:

    I just wanted to pop in to say I love reading your blog…beautiful photo above as well.

Follow me on App.net