Apart from the New York event (which is at a private home and therefore requires RSVP) and the BuddhaFest talk, none of the events require bookings or RSVP. But if you are planning to come along to one of the events , please join the Facebook event so I know you are coming. And so you can invite your friends!

Sunday, June 2^nd

City: Napa, CA

Time: 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM (PT)

Location: Alexis Baking Company

Address:  1517 Third Street, Napa, California 94559

Facebook event link

Tuesday, June 4^th

City: New York, NY

Time: 6:00 PM – 8:00 PM (ET)

Location: The San Remo

Address: 146 Central Park West (Suite: 26E), New York, NY 10023 [Map]

Facebook event link

Bookings: RSVP required to Shannon@garrisoninstitute.org

Tuesday, June 11^th

City: Austin, TX

Time: 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM (CT)

Location: Barnes & Noble: Arboretum

Address: 10000 Research Blvd #158, Austin, TX 78759 [Map]

Facebook event link

Thursday, June 13^th

City: Houston, TX

Time: 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM (CT)

Location: Barnes & Noble: River Oaks

Address: 2030 West Gray Street, Houston, TX 77019 [Map]

Facebook event link

Friday, June 14^th

City: Los Angeles

Time: 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM (PT)

Location: Pages: A Bookstore

Address: 904 Manhattan Avenue, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266 [Map]

Facebook event link

Tuesday, June 18^th

City: Chicago, IL

Time: 12:00 PM – 1:00 PM (CT)

Location: Barbara’s Bookstore: Burr Ridge

Address: 810 Village Center Drive, Burr Ridge, IL 60527 [Map]

Facebook event link

Wednesday, June 19^th

City: Madison, WI

Time: 6:30 PM – 8:00 PM (CT)

Location: A Room of One’s Own Bookstore

Address: 315 W. Gorham St. Madison WI 53703 [Map]

Facebook event link

Sunday, June 23^rd

City: Arlington, VA

Time: 11:15 AM – 1:15 PM (ET) & 5:30 PM – 7:00 PM (ET)

Location: BuddhaFest, Artisphere’s Spectrum Theatre

Address: 1611 N. Kent Street, Arlington, VA 22209 [Map]

Event website

Bookings: Tickets available here

Monday, June 24^th

City: Arlington, VA

Time: 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM (ET)

Location: One More Page Books

Address: 2200 N. Westmoreland Street #101, Arlington, VA 22213 [Map]

Facebook event link

Wednedsay, June 26^th

City: Toronto, ON, Canada

Time: 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM (ET)

Location: Another Story Bookshop

Address: 315 Roncesvalles Ave, Toronto, ON M6R 2M6, Canada [Map]

Facebook event link

Thursday, June 27^th

City: Vancouver, BC, Canada

Time: 6:30 PM – 8:00 PM (PT)

Location: Banyen Books & Sound

Address: 3608 W. 4th Ave, Vancouver, BC V6R 1P1, Canada [Map]

Facebook event link

Why? Because creativity and joy are practices. They don’t just happen to us because we are creative or joyful people – although inherently we all are. But the demands of daily life get in the way of our experience of these qualities, so we need to pay them a little attention – cultivate them through practice.

Starting today – will you join me (and Jen Louden and Tracey Clark) to notice, cultivate and spread creative joy? You can read more about the practice of creative joy and how joining us in this practice could win you a place at our Creative Joy retreat in October, in the Creative Joy Playbook – available for download here.

The Creative Joy Playbook is like a mini-retreat in itself – it includes photos, quotes, questions to get you connected to your own creative joy and reflections on creative joy from a lot of wonderful people including Kelly Rae Roberts, Christine Mason Miller, Susannah Conway, Tara Mohr, Jeffrey Davis, Eric Klein, Samantha Reynolds, Janet Goldstein and many more. Download it here (it’s free, no opt-in needed) and start playing.

Here are some images of #mycreativejoy this past week.

Listed below are the events already confirmed.Hopefully I’ll be able to confirm more events very soon (in New York, Boston, San Francisco, Napa CA, Madison WI, and Portland OR)

From my father’s grandmother I learned that nature already has the answers we are looking for and we should listen to our great-grandmothers because in 35 years time we’ll discover that science is finally catching up with her home remedies. I also learned how to play Chinese Checkers, how to make carrot juice and how to crochet (although I forgot that last part pretty quickly).

From my mother’s mother I learned the delights of dressing up and that the only fashion opinion that really matters is your own. I also learned how to play charades, eat avocado and sing Auld Langs Syne. I learned that vulnerability can be scary and when it hits you hard, you need the hand of someone you love to hold tight to. I learned that being depressed is not the same as being a sad person, and that grown-up, even grey-haired, women can still be playful.

From my father’s mother I learned the beauty and power of a handwritten letter and that once you live in other parts of the world, those places and the people you knew and loved in them stay with you forever. I also learned the importance of staying informed about what is going on in the world, and of having friends from different cultures and religions.

From my mother’s aunt I learned the value of being easily satisfied – the gentle, persistent happiness that comes from deciding that you have and are enough, and the joy that can be found in simple things. I also learned the blessing of laughing easily, and the transformative power of gratitude.

From my father’s cousin I learned many things including that it is always worth buying the very best coffee you can afford, that savoring said coffee in the sun on the balcony is more important than getting to work, that singing is a shortcut to joy and that if it makes you happy to wear the bright yellow sneakers with your evening dress, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

From Clarissa Pinkola Estes I learned to be wild again by asking myself what I really want - ”One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls.”

From a grandmother in Afghanistan I learned not to give up, even when it seemed the difference I was making was too small to matter to anyone. It mattered to her.

From a grandmother in the Gaza Strip I learned that it is possible to laugh even in the face of death and destruction. In fact I learned that sometimes it is absolutely essential to laugh in the face of death and destruction.

From a grandmother in Papua New Guinea I learned that the myth of feminine frailty we’ve been sold in the west is just that – a myth – and that women are physically strong enough to dig, and carry, and build what it takes to make a better life for themselves and their children and grandchildren.

Like my friend Tara Mohr, I believe that a more peaceful, sane, loving world – the kind of world all of us human beings deserve – will be created when women bring their voices and creative gifts fully into the world. That’s why I joined her this week to celebrate grandmother power.

Five years ago, soon after I had left Afghanistan, I went on retreat at Esalen with Seane Corn, Hala Khouri and Suzanne Sterling of Off the Mat, Into the World. During my week in Big Sur – as I breathed (and sometimes cried) my way through yoga classes, soaked in the gorgeous outdoor natural hot pools and sat in the garden watching butterflies flit between rows of kale I would soon be eating – I set the course of the life I’m now living.

This year I get to create that kind of space for a small group of women. Women – like me – who have profoundly important work to do in the world, and who sometimes need to take a break, put on the brakes, refresh their own reserves of creative inspiration (and rest) and reset their compasses to due north. I would love to have you join us to retreat, rest and reset your direction for 2013 and the years to come. I only have room left for 6 people so it really will be an intimate affair.

Who is this for?

This retreat is for women like me (and maybe like you?).

We understand the value and importance of taking care of ourselves. We know how good we feel when we eat healthy food, do some yoga, and take time to lie in the sun and read a book. We know we are more creative when we have more rest, and that we are a more compassionate and intuitive teacher/mother/friend when we get time just for ourselves.

We know we can only do our best work in the world, and make a difference in the lives of the people we care about, when we take time to care for and nourish ourselves.

YET, life is so very, very full that we find ourselves rushing from day to day with a gnawing sense that something is getting away from us, and there just isn’t time for a walk in the woods, or an afternoon nap on the couch, or to make a big fresh salad for lunch.

What we need, every now and then, is to hit the reset button by going on retreat.

So this sweet retreat is for women who understand the value of taking time out of the busy-ness of daily life to reconnect to yourself, to nourish your own health, feed your creativity. But who may not find it easy to make that time, most of the time.

The sweet retreat includes:

* 5 nights at Esalen Institute, including all meals made fresh from ingredients grown on-site. All rooms are triples (if you are coming with a friend, or two, let me know so we can room you together)

* Practices, tools, support and opportunities to rest and reconnect with your creative, courageous, compassionate self in ways that will empower you in your work in the world, nourish your ability to care for the people you love, and reconnect you with a sense of meaning and purpose.

* Opportunities for yoga and writing practice, with support, instruction and encouragement from Marianne.

* Full access to Esalen Institute’s amazing, healing hot tubs, Pacific Ocean views, creekside hikes, meditation spaces, gardens, other movement classes and massage (massage is at an additional cost).

* Opportunity to connect with others because sometimes we need to share a meal with someone who isn’t checking their phone every few minutes.

* Time for rest, stillness, silence and solitude.

Cost: Early-bird price $1425 incl shared room and meals – until 20 May (after 20 May $1625)

If a sweet retreat with me + to reset your compass, refuel your motivation and soak in the healing waters of Esalen feels like the right way to spend some time this summer, register now (or read on for more details)

Cancellations and refunds: If you need to cancel before May 31st, we’ll refund your payment. After 31 May, we won’t be able to give refunds, but someone else can take your place.

What will we do?

The focus of the retreat is on rest and connection: reconnecting to your own body through yoga and delicious healthy food; reconnecting to your own creativity through movement and writing, reconnecting to the earth and ocean through the beautiful grounds and three converging waters of Esalen, and connecting to a small circle of other women. Every day we’ll have a period of quiet time, when there will be absolutely nothing to do but walk through the grounds at Esalen, soak in the hot pools, nap in the sun on the grassy cliffs over the Pacific Ocean, curl up with a book, get yourself a massage, write or take photographs.

We’ll do yoga.

I teach kind yoga, yoga that meets your body where it is right now, no matter where that is, with kindness. Because kindness, especially when it comes to our bodies, is revolutionary. Here’s what some people have said about my yoga teaching on past retreats:

Perfect, delicious, joyous. Kind yoga is the best! – Susan, California

Fantastic! I love her style and her presence and her fearlessness about making it pure fun. Some of the best, most healing and giggly yoga I have ever done. – Carise Mitch

Marianne, your gentle instruction and kind encouragement throughout the practice made it feel so safe to step outside my comfort zone. I connected and felt comfortable with my body in a way I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before. – Karen Coverett

I have always been terrified to try yoga even though I really wanted to do it. I felt intimidated and self-conscious. Marianne introduced it to us in a safe and fun way. Loved it and want to do more. – Patty Fischer

We’ll write.

We’ll write because, just as yoga reconnects us with our body and brings us back into the present moment with all the joys and possibilities it holds, writing reconnects us with our spirit, and reminds us of the wonders we hold within our own imagination. There are no rules for this writing, no standards you have to meet, no pressure to share. I’m going to introduce you to a wonderful writing practice I learned from Natalie Goldberg. You don’t need to have a specific writing project in mind, and you don’t need to show anyone else what you write. Unless you want to.

We’ll rest.

Bring those books you’ve been meaning to read but haven’t found time for, bring the accumulated weeks and months of not-quite-enough-sleep. Every day we’ll have quiet time for napping, resting, writing and reading and the Easlen grounds are full of perfect little nooks for curling up in the sun with a book. There is even a gorgeous little meditation room, tucked into the side of the riverbank, if quiet time to sit is what you’ve been craving most of all. Esalen is also famous for it’s massage therapists.

We’ll eat.

We’ll eat amazing, delicious, healthy food - much of it grown on site in Easlen’s biodynamic gardens. Esalen’s kitchens are world famous for their incredible food. At breakfast there is fresh fruit, various kinds of porridge, eggs, toast and more. They have a big salad bar at lunch and dinner and most nights there are one or two soup options, plus a vegetarian and non-vegetarian entree option. And dessert! I’ve never gone hungry at Esalen, and I always leave dreaming of my next meal there.

We’ll soak.

We’ll soak in the healing waters of Esalen’s beautiful hot tubs – cut into the cliffs over the Pacific ocean. One of my favorite experiences in the world is lying in the quiet in those tubs, watching otter floating in the kelp of the ocean below me.

We’ll connect.

As well as reconnecting to ourselves, we’ll have time to connect with each other – time to hear from other women, and to be heard ourselves. And I promise you, it won’t be forced, it won’t be touchy-feely, and it won’t be uncomfortable. Because connection can be as simple as sharing a meal without any phones on the table, as profound as hearing someone read her own writing for the first time, or as natural as soaking together in a hot-tub.

Questions you might have:

What if I don’t know anyone else going? 

You won’t be the only one. There are only 9 places in this retreat and although it is possible some people might come who already know each other, the odds are that most people will be meeting for the first time. I don’t find it easy to meet new people, or to come into a group of new people. So I know how that can feel, and part of my job is to help you feel comfortable and at ease as you meet new people.

What if I’ve never done yoga before? 

You don’t need to have any experience of yoga to enjoy the yoga on this retreat. The style of yoga I teach is simple, accessible and fun – and yet at the same time can be very powerful in it’s effect.

What if I have an injury or some form of physical disability? 

In my yoga classes I am more than happy to help people make adjustments to find the right practice for their body – including working with people with disability or injury. But please talk to your doctor first and do let me know in advance about any injuries. If you have a disability which affects your mobility, please get in touch with me so we can talk – some parts of the Easlen property are not very accessible and I’d want to talk that through with you before you decide whether or not this is the right retreat for you.

What if I’m not a writer? 

That is absolutely fine! The writing practice we’ll be doing together is wonderful because it works just as well for experienced writer and people who’ve never written before. There will be no pressure to share your writing and you don’t need to have a specific project to work on. We’ll write as a way to connect to our ability to pay attention to the world around us, and as a way to reconnect to what is already present in us.

What if I’m shy? 

I’m a pretty low key, relatively introverted person myself. I’m not shy, but I do need time to get used to big new groups and I like time alone to process all the new information from being with others. So this really is going to be a ‘sweet retreat’: it’ll be small (only 9 women) with opportunities to connect to the other women there in very unthreatening, non-confrontational ways, and then plenty of space to be by yourself to recover, if you need that.

What if I have special dietary needs?

In my experience, Esalen’s kitchen do a fantastic job of catering for all sort so different diets. They offer meat options, vegetarian options, vegan options, gluten-free options and dairy-free options. SOmetimes the entree will contain dairy or egg or gluten, but when that happens they have soup options and the amazing salad bar that means you can create the meal that suits you. You can read more about the food at Esalen here.

What if I’m a bit intimidated by the idea of going on retreat? Or not sure that I’m cut out for it?

If you’ve never been on a retreat before you might wonder what it will be like, and whether you’ll enjoy it. Will you be able to cope with sharing a room? Will you like the food? Will you like the other people? What if you hate it, will you be stuck there?

Here’s what I can tell you, some aspects of the retreat experience will be blissfully comfortable and fun for you and other aspects are likely to be a little bit challenging. The accommodation, though set in one of the most beautiful spots on earth and very comfortable, is shared and is not 5 star luxury. The food is deliciously simple rather than gourmet. Some of the things we do together (yoga, writing, group meals) might take you a little bit out of your comfort zone.

But I can also tell you that:

• I’ll be there to support you through the parts you find hard, and so will the other women; and
• Even the parts that are a wee bit challenging are worth it.

How far is Esalen from the nearest airport? How do I get there? Will my cell phone work?

You can read more about how to get to Esalen and other practicalities, here on their FAQ page.

Cost: Early-bird price $1425 incl shared room and meals – until 20 May (after 20 May $1625)

Cancellations and refunds: If you need to cancel before May 31st, we’ll refund your payment. After 31 May, we won’t be able to give refunds, but someone else can take your place.

If a sweet little retreat with me + soaking in the healing waters of Esalen feels like the right way to spend some time this summer, register now:

More feedback on my yoga retreats:

That voice! That accent! That beautiful chanting! I have experienced a lot of yoga, Marianne brought a breath of fresh air to it. – Sue Vita

I found Marianne to be a wonderful yoga teacher – very inspiring, with a unique approach that was fun and engaging. I loved every moment of it. – Amy Oscar

What a joy! The yoga we did released something so deep – exactly where I needed to go. Who knew tears could spring forth after such light-hearted of yoga. The unexpected and miraculous happens. – Colleen Nolan Armstrong

Being totally new to yoga, it was a delight to be exposed to different forms and poses. Marianne is patient and kind, and brings a beautiful balance of fun mixed with tradition and respect to the mat. – Shirley Gerber

Suraya Pakzad – Afghan women’s rights advocate

Sometimes people ask me if I still do human rights work. And I’m not always sure how to answer. I no longer have a job, with a salary, that comes with a title like ‘Human Rights Officer’. But I do still do human rights work. At the moment I’m helping put together an exhibition on feminism in New Zealand – reviewing and remembering the milestones for women’s rights over the past 150 years, and looking at where we are now, and where we are going.

This week I also finished up the last in the series of radio stories I’ve produced out of the material I gathered during my trip to Afghanistan this time last year (see the bottom of this post for links to the posts I wrote while I was on that trip).

I’m especially proud of this story – which is called ‘Return of the Silent Years?’ and looks at the concerns of Afghan woman and human rights advocates about the impact in Afghanistan of the withdrawal of international troops. I’m proud of it partly because it presents a different perspective on this story. In New Zealand, the story of our troops decade-long engagement in Afghanistan has been often presented either as a success (we’ve helped stabilise and rebuild the province, and how we are leaving it in good hands) or a failure (we’ve wasted money and lives, achieved nothing and it’s time to get out).

In my experience the situation is considerably more complex than either of those stories would suggest and it seemed to me that the best way to get the message of that complexity across was to let Afghan women, and men who are working to promote the rights of women, tell the story in their own words.

Listen to ‘Return of the Silent Years?’

Links to the other radio stories I produced from this trip:

Visiting the Buddhas – a story about potential for tourism in Afghanistan

Tractors in Afghanistan – a story about agricultural development programs in Bamiyan province

First Love: Gaza – a story about the impact of humanitarian work on aid workers

Links to the posts I wrote while I was there:

Revisiting Afghanistan: Day One - in which Afghan kindness wins the day

Revisiting Afghanistan: Day Three – in which I reveal what’s really scaring me

Coming Home to Herat – in which I relearn the importance of ‘feeling it’

Revisiting Ghor: Day Two – in which I meet some ghosts and yet another Kuchi Dog

Revisiting Ghor: Day Three – which is all about security, security, security

Birthday Thoughts – in which I celebrate my 40th birthday in Afghanistan

Turning 40 in Pictures – which is exactly what it sounds like (lots of photos)

What Afghanistan Taught Me: Part I – in which I apparently say everything I had to say, there is no Part II

The beauty of meditation is that it can help us find a little pause in the midst of the frenzy. Which is why, this May, I’m taking part in Mindful in May. To explain more about why I’m doing this, and why I’d love you to join me, here are some questions I answered for the founder of Mindful in May, Elise Bialylew.

What led you to meditation?

I was living and working in Afghanistan and suffering from stress, anxiety and depression. I didn’t want to give up the work I loved, so I decided to give meditation a try. After my first 21 days of a daily meditation practice, I knew I was onto something big. Meditation was changing my relationship with my own thoughts, and helping me find ways to remain open-hearted without being overwhelmed by the suffering around me.

What value has practicing meditation brought to your life?

It has helped me see that my true nature is compassionate, grounded, courageous and curious – and has given me the ability to return to that ‘home base’ when I find myself drifting away from it.

Maybe the most powerful insight my meditation has given me is that I don’t have to ‘make myself’ more compassionate, or calmer. I don’t have to fix myself.

Instead I can find my way back to the compassionate, grounded centre that already exists at the core of me. Somehow, seeing it that way transformed things for me – life was no longer about ‘improving’ myself, but rather about accepting myself and coming back to who I already was.

How has meditation supported you in your professional life?

Big news today – not only is the US & Canada edition of Zen Under Fire now available for pre-order, but I have a special offer to announce for anyone who pre-orders my book before the launch date of 1 June.

I’ve created a free online guide to staying Zen Under Fire – covering the key lessons I learned in Afghanistan about finding a place of inner peace even in the midst of war. The Zen Under Fire online guide is a four week course in finding your own inner peace in the midst of whatever chaos, conflict or simple day-to-day challenges you might be facing.

You can read more about how the offer works here.

Guest Post by Anna Guest-Jelley (co-host, with me, of 30 Days of Curvy Yoga)

When I started practicing yoga, I did it at home.

There wasn’t a class on every corner like there is today.

But the main reason I did it is that even the idea of going to a class made me feel ridiculous. And when I think I might feel ridiculous, I don’t like my trial run of it to be in front of either people.

I wish I could be braver — and maybe I am a bit these days. But when I’m being really honest with myself, I know that I vastly prefer to have at least the slightest comfort/knowledge of something before doing it with/in front of others.

Surprising Results

As I continued practicing at home, I started slowly gathering information about how I felt (physically and emotionally). This was absolutely critical for me, a gal who never got that kind of bodily info from sports or the like because, well, sports + I are not a good match.

(Although I was, somehow, on my high school golf team. But that’s a story for another day.)

Because I was still in that space of uncertainty about proceeding to a group class, I really got to take my time. I felt free to experiment because I was unafraid of making a fool of myself. I tried things I never would have if I’d thought someone else would see me.

In other words, I had the amazing experience of building up the confidence that I could do yoga. That, yeah, this body can do yoga — no prob.

I’m convinced that this critical home practice time built a platform for me to venture into classes I might not otherwise have tried. This gave me the opportunity to really soak up everything I learned as I began taking classes, workshops and, eventually, teacher training because I already knew how my body felt on the mat and what I wanted from my practice.

Wait: There’s More!

In addition to all this, I even got some more benefits (hard to believe, I know!).

• Feeling Good: There’s not much better than this, right? My home practice helped me develop the skills to use visualization to reduce the intensity and duration of my migraines. It also helped me feel g-o-o-d at the end of the day, stretching and moving away any tension I was holding (and it was always a lot — still is some days!).
• Improved Health: I already mentioned the migraines (and that alone was priceless for me because I had, almost literally, tried everything else possible). But I also saw improvements in my digestion, which has been an on-again/off-again issue for me my whole life. I think slowing down and all those twists helped with that.
• Reduced Stress: Think my health issues had anything to do with stress? I didn’t. That is, until I learned how to calm the heck down through yoga and saw them slowly melt away — and/or not throw me completely into a rabbit hole of misery, despair and woe-is-me.
• Inner Listening: Yoga asks us to get still and see what comes up. This is so not my favorite task, especially when I’m spinning out into some internal drama. But home practice made it possible for me to engage because it held space for me, myself and I.

How to Get Started

If you’re reading this and thinking some variation of “Dang, I really need a home yoga practice.” Or, like me, “Yep; it’s time for me to re-start my home yoga practice,” I hope you’ll give it a whirl. It is a truly powerful experience.

And if you’d like some guidance rooted in radical self-kindness, I’d love for you to join me and Marianne for 30 Days of Curvy Yoga. We created this course as the love letter we wish we’d received when we first started practicing — tips and encouragement for creating a practice that works for the actual you. Not the fantasy you that wakes us at 5:00am for 2 hours of yoga and meditation before beginning a blissful, stress-free day. But the you who has 7 minutes today and 23 minutes tomorrow for yoga, and hey — you’re taking it.

It’s also for the you who wants some pose options that were created specifically for folks with curves. The video that accompanies the course is intended to show you several different options for some go-to poses. Once you practice through a few times, you can begin mixing and matching based on your needs — which is, after all, what yoga is all about.

To learn more about the course, please click here. Registration ends Monday 15 April and (in good news for you instant gratification folks like me) we’re also starting on Monday 14 April.

If you’ve got any questions, please get in touch with Marianne or I (anna[at]curvyyoga[dot]com). We’d love for you to be part of this! It promises to be a wonderful time of exploration and transformation as you create your own tailor-made practice.

Which is why I love what my friend Tara Mohr does. She spent years coaching brilliant women who didn’t recognise their own brilliance. They told her they weren’t ready to take on a bigger role. They were more attuned to the ways they were not qualified than to the ways that they were. They were waiting for someone to validate, promote or discover them.

Sound familiar?

Tara says: it’s time to step up, brilliant women. Here are her ten principles for owning your brilliance and bringing it to the world:

1. Make a pact.

No one else is going to build the life you want for you. No one else will even be able to completely understand it. The most amazing souls will show up to cheer you on along the way, but this is your game. Make a pact to be in it with yourself for the long haul, as your own supportive friend at every step along the way.

2. Imagine it.

What does a knock-the-ball-out-of-the-park life look like for you? What is the career that seems so incredible you think it’s almost criminal to have it? What is the dream you don’t allow yourself to even consider because it seems too unrealistic, frivolous, or insane? Start envisioning it. That’s the beginning of having it.

3. Gasp.

Start doing things that make you gasp and get the adrenalin flowing. Ask yourself, “What’s the gasp-level action here?” Your fears and a tough inner critic will chatter in your head. That’s normal, and just fine. When you hear that repetitive, irrational, mean inner critic, name it for what it is, and remember, it’s just a fearful liar, trying to protect you from any real or seeming risks. Go for the gasps and learn how false your inner critic’s narrative really is, and how conquerable your fears.

4. Get a thick skin.

If you take risks, sometimes you’ll get a standing ovation, and sometimes, people will throw tomatoes. Can you think of any leader or innovator whom you admire who doesn’t have enthusiastic fans and harsh critics? Get used to wins and losses, praise and pans, getting a call back and being ignored. Work on letting go of needing to be liked and needing to be universally known as “a nice person.”

5. Be an arrogant idiot.

Of course I know you won’t, because you never could. But please, just be a little more of an arrogant idiot. You know those guys around the office who share their opinions without thinking, who rally everyone around their big, (often unformed) ideas? Be more like them. Even if just a bit. You can afford to move a few inches in that direction.

6. Question the voice that says “I’m not ready yet.”

I know, I know. Because you are so brilliant and have such high standards, you see every way that you could be more qualified. You notice every part of your idea that is not perfected yet. While you are waiting to be ready, gathering more experience, sitting on your ideas, our friends referenced in rule five are being anointed industry visionaries, getting raises, and seeing their ideas come to life in the world. They are no more ready than you, and perhaps less. Jump in the sandbox now, and start playing full out. Find out just how ready you are.

7. Don’t wait for your Oscar.

Don’t wait to be praised, anointed, or validated. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to lead. Don’t wait for someone to invite you to share your voice. No one is going to discover you. (Well, actually, they will, but paradoxically, only after you’ve started boldly and consistently stepping into leadership, sharing your voice, and doing things that scare the hell out of you.)

8. Filter advice.

Most brilliant women are humble and open to guidance. We want to gather feedback and advice. Fine, but recognize that some people won’t understand what you are up to (often because you are saying something new and ahead of your time). Some people will find you to be not their cup of tea. Some will feel threatened. Some people will want to do with your idea only what is interesting or helpful to them. So interpret feedback carefully. Test advice and evaluate the results, rather than following it wholesale.

9. Recover and restore.

If you start doing the things that make you gasp, doing what you don’t quite feel ready to do, and being more of an arrogant idiot, you are going to be stretching out of our comfort zone–a lot. Regularly do things that feel safe, cozy, and restorative. Vent to friends when you need to. Acknowledge the steps you’ve taken. Watch your tank to see how much risk-taking juice you have available to you. When it’s running low, stop, recover and restore.

10. Let other women know they are brilliant.

Let them know what kind of brilliance you see, and why it’s so special. Call them into greater leadership and action. Let them know that they are ready. Watch out for that subtle, probably unconscious thought, “because I had to struggle and suffer on my way up…they should have to too.” Watch out for thinking this will “take” too much time — when the truth is it always has huge, often unexpected returns.

Clear a path by walking it, boldly.

Two years ago I was part of the first class of Playing Big, Tara’s leadership development program for women. Playing Big is:

• Part inner work to help you overcome fears, end procrastination, and clarify your vision
• Part practical training in skills for world-changing: communication, negotiation, getting media attention for your work
• Part supportive and dynamic community of creative, visionary women ready to support each other in Playing Big

If you…

• feel a calling or longing to play bigger, but you feel afraid or unsure about the next right steps.
• want to make a positive difference in the world but feel held back in some way.
• sense that being part of a supportive community of like-minded women would help you play bigger.
• suspect it would be a whole lot more fun to play big.

Playing Big might be the right program for you.

You can learn more, and sign up, here. Registration closes Thursday night.